Day 28 - Layers of Bravery

Our inspirational topic this week has to do with 'Being Brave'.

I've never considered myself a 'brave' one per se.  Never thought about it that way before I guess.  I've made some 'way out there' decisions.  Decisions that I've been very happy with.  Decisions that even today I wonder about and regret and don't consider bravery.  One of those many decisions that I have wondered about, I expressed my regret about not too long ago to a very important person in my life and she put me in my place and advised me that it was a step of bravery...not weakness...not selfishness.  So....

I got pregnant and married at 17.  A mother at 18. A move away from everything I knew. Seven years of marriage filled with physical, mental and yes..sexual abuse.
A single mother.
Married again giving birth to two more awesome children surviving another marriage of mental abuse and distrusting relationship.
Again, out on my own.
The millennium took my father in 2000, stepfather six months later in 2001 and a sister in 2003.
Another move. Another new place.
Through it all...working hard, buying my own houses, gardening, writing, photographing, crying, laughing, moving to new and different places...on my own.'
Children all 1300 miles away.

And now, possibly another 'brave move' to another distant unknown world , ...in hopes of semi retirement, writing, photographing, gardening, relaxing and reading...and hopes that somehow ends will meet.

Bravery...maybe.

5 Photographic Dreams

Inspiring more with my photography in hopes of making everyone smile.
Display my photographs in a gallery show
Be published
Grow my portrait photography in hopes of being able to support my other photography.
Enjoy more Travel photography hopefully with resulting writings and photography published in a well known magazine

1 Photo 3 Different Ways

The challenge...take one photo and edit it 3 different ways.

Tonight it was a challenge for me.  I'm not totally happy with it and want to play a bit more...another restful day when the creative juices are a bit rested.

What I gathered from this is...I think I need to choose a different photo.  You know...like American Idol....you have to have the right song choice to make it work.

sigh

The middle one is my favorite.

Day 26 - It Begins with You

This is 'my space'.  The place I go when I need to be first...where I put everyone else last, for a few minutes, a few hours...until sunset.

When things are overwhelming and mind boggling, I drive.  Sometimes just around in circles, sometimes around the block, sometimes farther away.

Here in my midwest home, this is 'my space'. My peace. Serenity. Simplicity.

This 'world' makes the world go away.  The voices disappear.  The thoughts (the ones I really need to think about even) all go away.  I head this way thinking I need to clear my mind. I need a place to sit and think and relax and breathe. The only issue is I can't visit here without my lenses and therefore I end up snapping my feathered friends wishing I could include their soothing, sometimes dramatic sounds inside the photo.

And this is what I did this week.  I drove.  To here.  Because I needed me time....away from my 'me time at home'.  Away from the tornadic mind thoughts. Just me.  And them.

Peace. Serenity. Simplicity.

My Space.

I always leave here with a smile and lightened heart.  Always.

Day 25 - Me - Beyond Amazing?

The past few days of Beyond Layers with Kim have been focused even more so on 'us' ourselves. I often wonder...is it just a woman thing...that we always take care of everyone else first. That we lower ourselves to believe that we don't measure up to what we should be..who we should be. Constantly giving up our dreams for those we love...always regretting the decisions we make worried that we have been too selfish...wondering day after day if those we love will ever forgive us and love us as we need them to. Wondering if we should ask for forgiveness or hoping it will just all be forgotten some day. Each and every one of those decisions building on each other and making the next one even harder to make.

Yes, I've made a few of those. Yes, I still wonder about them and worry...that the ones I really care about still don't forgive me that one decision. Days go by and things happen..that make it feel that maybe it is all okay...and then I wake up on 'the wrong side of the bed' and the circle starts all over again.

I have a major decision that is at the forefront right now...and all those previous decisions are definitely making this a tough one...and at the same time...urging me to make it...telling me not to give up what my heart needs right now in an attempt to insure that someone else is okay...that yet another person in my life that means a lot to me...goes by the wayside.

I want to know....I want to feel...I want to be 'me' and not keep it tucked inside for someone else's reasonings.

I need the 'old' me back again.

(pic taken a month or so ago, added the I Am texture at overlay and brushed away from my face with a wonderful inspirational brush from KK)

Day 23 - Layers of Pastel

Easter...currently my most favorite time of the year..as far as holidays go because it has become one of my few traditions to be at my awesome daughter's house enjoying it with her, her other half and my wonderfully awesomely cute granddaughters. Really. They. Are.

It gives me a chance to be a kid again and color eggs!!! Laugh. Play. Swing. and snap that photograph..time and time again.

Pastels, although not something I adorn this person with...have their place and Easter is definitely one of them. This project was fun. I love the retro. I love the texture. And these pastels...warm my heart.

Easter. A wonderful celebration with a wonderful family.

(the pic.....texture added at full opacity, color layer of yellow in screen mode...brushing the yellow off the eggs at a 50% opacity and the texture totally off the eggs. Forgot to keep layers open to record all steps)

Painting the Layers - Day 10

My three attempts at the painterly effect. I like the top one the most. I've definitely learned again that different editing works better on some subjects than others. But, of course, we all knew that, right.

Looking forward to planning more shots for this one.

Day 8 - Start to Finish

I have a home full of Tom Clark Gnomes. They each have their place somewhere in my home. Whether it be on a curio shelf, on bedroom nightstand, or a bathroom tucked amidst a green plant...they make me smile. Each with a name, a number and their own little coin or acorn. I have a 'red headed stepdaughter', of sorts, that thinks it is disturbing...but really it isn't as bad as it used to be. Some have been boxed up for a few years...for whatever reason. Many are retired. I stopped purchasing them when they started changing the color themes on them to something that just didn't seem to be quite so 'woodsy'. The ones that are boxed, I think about selling...but every time I go through the box, they capture my heart and woodsy wandering feeling...and I just can't do it quite yet.

This one sits in my bathroom surrounded by an ivy...with her rubber ducky...greeting me every morning.

This set up was pretty much 'on the spot' with the bright afternoon light coming through the window glass and diffused by the shower curtain. Vintage gradient in the diamond mode, grundgedup texture and slight framing. Maybe a bit too much?

Creative.