Your take - Day 89

I'm having some major need for 'time to regroup'.  I'm still in regroup mode and will quietly work my way through it during the holiday season.
Lots of activities.
Ending the year. Very anxious for the new year as I have some high hopes.  More so than in the past.
Lots of travel plans.
Lots of family activities.
Lots of new doors waiting to be opened.

The above project came at a time really needed. Creativity has been a little lacking as we slowly move in and out of the winter season here in the midwest.  Portrait season has slowed...which is okay during this regroup time.

Anxiously awaiting a bit of snow to trigger the photography juices.  Christmas light field trips right around the corner being followed up with a holiday season filled with family, friends, grandchildren.
Can. Not. Wait.

The quote.  Isn't it perfect?  Isn't it so true? It is where I find my peace.  My anchor.  It is where I get my cleansing. A walk in the woods.  A walk in a field of flowers. An afternoon driving through my most favorite marsh watching the wildlife, the breeze through the grasses.  The sunrise.  The sunset.

(My process for the above:
reduced clarity in LR
added aged photo preset
Into PSE duplicated layer in multiply mode at 35%
add layer of Linda by KK, multiply mode at 25%
add layer of dreamit by KK, screen mode at 39%
added frame
added Anne Frank quote)

Celebration of Growth

(The OshKosh Dragonboat race - This boat of rowers celebrating their fight against cancer. It was an awesome, inspiring moment that provided me growth of the soul, heart and mind just to have experienced.)




We've been asked to do a celebration....of our growth this year...with everything Kim has provided us with and all I can think of right now is how far behind I am on all the inspiration she has taken time to provide me with.  Such a bad student, I feel.  My own fault....or I could put part of the blame on her because she has inspired me so much, I signed up for other courses...all running at the same time...going in different directions...and not year long ones but four and six week long ones..still all running at the same time.

But...I smile.  I know winter is right around the corner and there will be time...to catch up.  Actually I see a little light in November.  Maybe even a start this next week...or next weekend when I take a girls trip north to rest and relax.  That should bring some type of down time and further inspiration.  (shhhh...don't tell them I plan on using them and our time together for many blogging opportunities)

Next
I've grown in my editing in PSE.....able to add textures and text over and above what I have done in the past.

I'm learning Lightroom now and definitely have fallen in love with it.  Taking the 'RoundTrip' to learn how to do exactly that...Lightroom to PSE and back. Can. Not. Wait. to have that under my belt.

My time capsule course....I want so much to finish and that is my goal for the next couple of weeks as after that it won't be available and it needs to be the one that I don't extend availability on....for now. I put a slide show together to share last week and couldn't get it uploaded to my blog here...for whatever reason so now...I need to go into the class more in-depth over the next week and get it up...because it is about Fall and I hate to think I won't get it posted until Winter. (uugghhh  and ggrrrr)

My blogging course was awesome and I followed it up with Make it Sparkle.  So filled with so many ideas. Now...to find the time to 'just do it'.

I have grown in a couple of other ways also.  I discovered the power of 'The Artist's Way' and it has given me so many opportunities in my photography passion which is part of what has kept me from the courses (also resulting in mixed feelings of where to spend my time..which passion... how can I get to them both because I want to do both....photograph....blog...travel....garden.)

In the past, I have not had much liking for the color white.  Past experiences of white cabinets in kitchens and bathrooms continuously needing cleaning with children and pets and just humidity and stickiness of Houston environments.  Cussing...claiming that these could only have been invented by a man.  Yet, this year...I found a new love for white (thank you to the one and only Kim Klassen) and am now trying to figure out which room is going to be the best to turn into My Whiteroom.

Along with the new love of white...has come a somewhat new love for bright lights....as long as they are not on me.  Many people wonder about my sitting in rooms with not much light.  My office at work has huge windows...tinted yes but....as far as I am concerned in the middle of the day, I much prefer that natural light coming through the window than that overhead flourescent light that just doesn't seem necessary...after all the computer monitor is lit.  But I have discovered the awesomeness of 'light' as related to photography and love those where I can capture some bright light..although it is normally still from that wonderful 'light' the Dear Lord has blessed us with.

I've grown in my attitude, my awareness (still needing work) but getting there.
My self esteem is slowly creeping up.

Next year.  Next year will be great. I've learned so much this year and still have more to learn as I play catch up.

And today, I think I actually do 'Trust the Process' just a bit more than I did ten months ago.

Layers of Script

A layer with script. Kind of cool, right?  A new lesson.  The thing I am really enjoying about the entire process is not only am I gaining some creative perspective to providing a new view on 'life', I am also learning some new little tips and tricks within PSE. So. That. Is. Cool.  Adding layers to my pictures.  A bit of texture here and there.  All the while also adding layers to my level of knowledge and creativity.

I do find in these practices as I find in my photography many days that my pics turn out 'darker' than what I think they are initially intended to be...from the tutorial anyhow.  I guess I like the high contrast. The vividness, although I also find myself lowering saturation a bit.  I'm sure it is just a setting in my camera I need to slightly change. But for now....


So I played a bit more

I think I like it just a bit better.

Seeing the Light

(mouse over to see before photo)

This weeks lesson just goes to prove that not all bad pictures are throw away material.  Sometimes a little bit of creativity will shed some wonderful new light on the subject thus producing a complete and sometimes awesome save (not necessarily the case here).

I had some difficulty with this one and definitely will need to review the tutorial again and try it on a bit of a different picture.  I thought I had totally blown it...until I looked at the before and after...and again...the before was nothing to write home about - just a pic taken quite quickly at the office in poor lighting and no thought process or setup time used efficiently at all.

I so prefer to get the picture right in the first place so that I don't then have to sit and edit it even more but if I can save a sentimental action such as this one ( a gift of a flower from a friend...one of my favorite flowers at that...second only to the daisy group) then a little creative editing to add passion and pizzaz is always worth the little bit of extra time needed.

Trust the Process

Trust the process?

"trust yourself in all you do. Be true to YOU..... allowing both love and hurt, bruises and bumps and blessings.........to be a possibility. Being true to YOU is the only way to go.

Sometimes in order to find our gifts, life's treasures...we have to step up and out..... move into the fear.... We have to risk feeling uncomfortable, vulnerable....scared even..... and when we bravely move toward that... and push through...bountiful gifts await.

from Julia Cameron's The Artist Way.

'When we trust ourselves, we become both more humble and more daring. When we trust ourselves we move surely. There is no unnecessary strain in our grasp as we reach out to meet life. There is no snatching at people and events trying to force them to give us what we think we want. We become what we are meant to be. It is that simple. We become what we are, and we do it by being who we are, not who we strive to be.'"

The words above as shared by Kim and Julia Cameron are words and processes defined that I struggle with quite often.  So often, I've given up who I am in order to make someone else happy.  After 55 years of doing so, I find it is still a hard habit to break.  This is why I work the hours I do...to keep my company happy.  This is why I gave up going to school in my late twenties and my fab job of challenges and travels...and at times....why I have given up parts of my family (thankfully for only a short period).

'Trust yourself in all you do....'

Ah...what a struggle that brings.  Only just this morning with my Artist Way project, I told myself that I find myself asking myself if I am really committed to this creative passion I have.  I find sometimes the littlest excuses for not going through with what I really want to do.  Work gets in the way.  But...I don't see him during the week as we work two different shifts so I need to spend every moment around him on weekends. Giving up the two days during the week that I have some creative energy to grow on.  I ask him to join me but, not being a photographer, I feel guilty spending the time trying to capture the shot I want as I feel I am holding him back.  In reality, I am probably holding us both back.

I don't have confidence in myself.

I don't trust the process on a regular basis.

I love my passions of photography and nature and travel.

I hate my job. It's monotonous, boring, unchallenging, exhausting.

I am, quite often, afraid to get out 'of the box'.  Afraid of what others will say and feel.

I'm tired of giving 'me' up in order to make everyone else happy.

I know who I truly am...who I am supposed to be.  There have been short spurts in my life when I was allowed to be that.  I can feel 'me'.  I can see 'me'. Behind that protective wall. I only need...Me to pull Me out.

A very favorite song of mine....Break Away by Kelly Clarkson

Instagramish - Something Borrowed

Yes, the eyesight is slowing dwindling.  Fading away.  More so in one eye than the other...which makes the whole...getting older thing even that more frustrating and challenging.

I bought some cheaters.  I'm too...hhmmm...stubborn...and don't want to wear them. So, as in everything else these days, I lose track of them.  On purpose?  Possibly.

Thank goodness for kindles and apple functionality that you can easily enlarge the print of things. Some day...every thing will be electronic and have that ability and we won't need glasses?  Yes, that is a question mark.

Meanwhile, luckily, I'm not the only one in the house that needs those little cheaters from time to time, so in my haste, my purposeful losing of cheaters that belong to me...I borrow the next best thing.

Instagramish - Something Blue

This is one of my most favorite blue things. 

An awesome bird. 

Always posing. Beautifully. 

Standing. Still. 

Watching. 

Hunting. 

A step here. 

Waiting. 

Stepping now. 

Neck stretching. 

Striking. 

Standing straight again. 

Crawfish etouffe.

Instagramish - Something Pretty

Wow...what an awesome challenge.  It's late...but .......

A new recipe.  A practice at setting up.  Flowers home grown, in a found vase, framed by the curtain of my kitchen sink window...adding some homemade instagramish, framing....and a whole lot of determination and patience...a pinch of exhaustion...and a gallon of inspiration.

That really is all the energy I have to say tonight.  Except...it was fun and inspirational as usual.

Half a Century - Gone By

He is my oldest son...the middle child.  The geek...who would have known.  His childhood nickname was Smiley as given by his sitter's husband - Papa Pete.  He loved to sit on the kitchen floor and dig into the jar of goldfish.  He loved his Dr Suess books, the one about the firefly was his favorite (and mine).  He started racing mountain bikes when he was 10 and continued to race until a couple of years ago. He is now a Business Analyst, software person.

He just turned 25.  Twenty. Five. My, I'm glad I'm not getting old (smiling secretly). The girl?  His fiancé to be wed in 2013.  Proposal in front of the Eiffel Tower of Paris (pronounced Pareeee for the romantic accent).  I'd like to believe he got his romanticism from me...his mom.  I excitedly visited them during their stay in Germany last year and did engagement photos for them in Versailles..I'm sure there is a dream come true in there somewhere.  It was an awesome visit. A bit rushed.  A bit short.  But truly awesome.  Memories for years to come.

They stayed in Germany for just over a year and although it was a very dreary weather year, they saw a lot.  I believe now they appreciate what they have in the US of A...the sun more than anything...he being a native Houstonian.  I hope they will always appreciate that opportunity they had this past year.

Shortly after my departure from his dad, we talked about going to New York for a visit together.  We haven't done that yet but his fiancé (yes, she has a name...Alexis) is from New Jersey so he has made it there now...without me (oh woah is me...I fear I am not needed any more.)  But I digress...I believe in deja vu per se and believe his desire to go to New York was a karma...pulling him that way...to her maybe...probably.

They are wonderfully in love and I can only hope and pray each and every day that they will experience that love, that connection with each other for a life time...for a long happy life time. It's not easy finding those connections and it takes work to keep them.  Patience, compromising, understanding, allowing each other to be theirselves, honesty, trust.  Dear Lord...guide them and protect them.

Did I say...he just turned 25?  smiling.

I love you Mitch. I miss you so. I'll see you soon.

(photo by TrishannC Photography, taken in Versailles France, edited with pumpkingrunge and a little added blur - the original photo here)

Dream Like Layers - Day 51

I have a large yard...almost half an acre.  I love gardening but in this yard, I have one spot close to my back door, across the driveway on which sits my patio table, on which I created my 'little garden space' about 4 years ago.  I want more gardens.  My house is for sale for whatever reason....and so I haven't expanded except the ones that line the sides of my house.  Those I enjoy on my daily strolls around the property.

This one particular garden, especially at this time of the year, is 'my spot'.  I am an early riser...and a late person...so when I get up in the morning on these beautiful midwest weather days, I grab my journal, my kindle fire, my pen, my cameras and my tripod and most importantly....my cup of coffee...and set myself up..sometimes right before the birds really start moving...sometimes about the same time...at my patio table, surrounded by the morning songs of the birds and scampering of the chipmunks and squirrels.

It is my dream spot.  My soul saver. My 'morning coffee'. My friend, peace and tranquility.  It is...just. Plain. Awesome.

I do my morning journal (The Artists Way) and am constantly distracted by a bird in the bird bath, a red squirrel chattering at a gray squirrel, a robin pulling the fattest worm you can ever imagine from no hole in the ground, the buzzing of the bees and the fluttering of the butterflies.

The coneflowers that grow here started out as four, overwatered, 75% off sale items at the local hardware store.  Four.  Now much more.  They survived.  They thrive.  They give off the ray of love and peace that they were meant for...not only making the bees and butterflies happy...but also making me smiling.

(Utilized yesteryear and thursday but without reducing the opacity quite as much because I loved the graininess.  I also brushed it away from the butterfly at 50% to let it stand out a bit more.)

A Colour Storyboard

Our lesson this week was in creating a color storyboard.  I really enjoyed playing with this one.

I used the chalk brush 60 pixels and added a bit of Ugglove with a soft light mode and brushed it away a bit from the goldfinch.

Truly fun and inspiring.

Beyond the layers of polaroids

I remember the polaroid camera.  I. Do.  It was great 'back then' to be able to take a picture and immediately know what it looked like. To enjoy the moment 'right then'.  To know 'right then' if you needed to retake it. To think...I guess you can almost relate it digital today..sort of kind of. Without the ability to do so much of the creative that digital and software allows us to do today.  And now...we can combine both...sort of kind of.

I took another class online that gave me a simple polaroid frame that I've used to do some cool stuff.  So these new frames are going to make me even happier and more creative, we can only hope.

Thank you so much, Kim.

Day 34 - Taking Chances

(Yes, I am way behind on this weekly project and not real happy with myself about it so again, I will attempt to catch up.)

I just recently took an afternoon after work in which I should have been taking care of a whole lot of personal stuff, obligations, should be doing type list of todos and went to lunch with a friend on a last minute invite and totally blew all of those obligations.  We left work and headed for downtown Milwaukee to dine at Gloriosos, a wonderfully enchanting grocery store with a behind the counter deli/pasta type bar filled with yummy pan inis, flatbreads, pastas and pastries (French pastries).  We ordered, browsed and sat outside watching people on the famous Brady Street. The weather was perfect. The atmosphere absolutely inspiring.

I had a photo shoot scheduled for the next day and knew I needed to be home setting things up and getting it in order.  I had a bit of shopping to do yet for some props.  Instead, I enjoyed the company and forgot about the world of grownup that I needed and always felt I needed to be partaking in. I even let her talk me into walking and browsing the shops.

We found a wonderful antique type store that had all kinds of things that really are not needed in life, one would think, yet actually it is all needed for that more simpler, surprising, whimsical enchantment we all need to keep things sparkling.  I had been wanting to find some old suitcases for a photo shoot idea that I wanted to do.  I found a couple old briefcases and figured they really wouldn't do what I wanted.  I did find  business card holder that had an owl on it and I am a big time owl admirer.  I was ready to check out and still trying to figure out if I should purchase the briefcases when I took a chance and asked if she had any old suitcases hidden amidst everything somewhere.

'I do have a couple that I just got in and I've been trying to clean them up but just have gotten them to the condition I would like them to be in to sell them.'  I asked to see them...knowing I didn't want them cleaned up.  They were absolutely perfect even with the  musty, grandma fragrance they filled the air with.  Absolutely perfect.

Tell me they weren't.  Go ahead.  I dare you.

Day 28 - Layers of Bravery

Our inspirational topic this week has to do with 'Being Brave'.

I've never considered myself a 'brave' one per se.  Never thought about it that way before I guess.  I've made some 'way out there' decisions.  Decisions that I've been very happy with.  Decisions that even today I wonder about and regret and don't consider bravery.  One of those many decisions that I have wondered about, I expressed my regret about not too long ago to a very important person in my life and she put me in my place and advised me that it was a step of bravery...not weakness...not selfishness.  So....

I got pregnant and married at 17.  A mother at 18. A move away from everything I knew. Seven years of marriage filled with physical, mental and yes..sexual abuse.
A single mother.
Married again giving birth to two more awesome children surviving another marriage of mental abuse and distrusting relationship.
Again, out on my own.
The millennium took my father in 2000, stepfather six months later in 2001 and a sister in 2003.
Another move. Another new place.
Through it all...working hard, buying my own houses, gardening, writing, photographing, crying, laughing, moving to new and different places...on my own.'
Children all 1300 miles away.

And now, possibly another 'brave move' to another distant unknown world , ...in hopes of semi retirement, writing, photographing, gardening, relaxing and reading...and hopes that somehow ends will meet.

Bravery...maybe.

5 Photographic Dreams

Inspiring more with my photography in hopes of making everyone smile.
Display my photographs in a gallery show
Be published
Grow my portrait photography in hopes of being able to support my other photography.
Enjoy more Travel photography hopefully with resulting writings and photography published in a well known magazine

1 Photo 3 Different Ways

The challenge...take one photo and edit it 3 different ways.

Tonight it was a challenge for me.  I'm not totally happy with it and want to play a bit more...another restful day when the creative juices are a bit rested.

What I gathered from this is...I think I need to choose a different photo.  You know...like American Idol....you have to have the right song choice to make it work.

sigh

The middle one is my favorite.

Day 26 - It Begins with You

This is 'my space'.  The place I go when I need to be first...where I put everyone else last, for a few minutes, a few hours...until sunset.

When things are overwhelming and mind boggling, I drive.  Sometimes just around in circles, sometimes around the block, sometimes farther away.

Here in my midwest home, this is 'my space'. My peace. Serenity. Simplicity.

This 'world' makes the world go away.  The voices disappear.  The thoughts (the ones I really need to think about even) all go away.  I head this way thinking I need to clear my mind. I need a place to sit and think and relax and breathe. The only issue is I can't visit here without my lenses and therefore I end up snapping my feathered friends wishing I could include their soothing, sometimes dramatic sounds inside the photo.

And this is what I did this week.  I drove.  To here.  Because I needed me time....away from my 'me time at home'.  Away from the tornadic mind thoughts. Just me.  And them.

Peace. Serenity. Simplicity.

My Space.

I always leave here with a smile and lightened heart.  Always.

Day 25 - Me - Beyond Amazing?

The past few days of Beyond Layers with Kim have been focused even more so on 'us' ourselves. I often wonder...is it just a woman thing...that we always take care of everyone else first. That we lower ourselves to believe that we don't measure up to what we should be..who we should be. Constantly giving up our dreams for those we love...always regretting the decisions we make worried that we have been too selfish...wondering day after day if those we love will ever forgive us and love us as we need them to. Wondering if we should ask for forgiveness or hoping it will just all be forgotten some day. Each and every one of those decisions building on each other and making the next one even harder to make.

Yes, I've made a few of those. Yes, I still wonder about them and worry...that the ones I really care about still don't forgive me that one decision. Days go by and things happen..that make it feel that maybe it is all okay...and then I wake up on 'the wrong side of the bed' and the circle starts all over again.

I have a major decision that is at the forefront right now...and all those previous decisions are definitely making this a tough one...and at the same time...urging me to make it...telling me not to give up what my heart needs right now in an attempt to insure that someone else is okay...that yet another person in my life that means a lot to me...goes by the wayside.

I want to know....I want to feel...I want to be 'me' and not keep it tucked inside for someone else's reasonings.

I need the 'old' me back again.

(pic taken a month or so ago, added the I Am texture at overlay and brushed away from my face with a wonderful inspirational brush from KK)

Day 23 - Layers of Pastel

Easter...currently my most favorite time of the year..as far as holidays go because it has become one of my few traditions to be at my awesome daughter's house enjoying it with her, her other half and my wonderfully awesomely cute granddaughters. Really. They. Are.

It gives me a chance to be a kid again and color eggs!!! Laugh. Play. Swing. and snap that photograph..time and time again.

Pastels, although not something I adorn this person with...have their place and Easter is definitely one of them. This project was fun. I love the retro. I love the texture. And these pastels...warm my heart.

Easter. A wonderful celebration with a wonderful family.

(the pic.....texture added at full opacity, color layer of yellow in screen mode...brushing the yellow off the eggs at a 50% opacity and the texture totally off the eggs. Forgot to keep layers open to record all steps)

Painting the Layers - Day 10

My three attempts at the painterly effect. I like the top one the most. I've definitely learned again that different editing works better on some subjects than others. But, of course, we all knew that, right.

Looking forward to planning more shots for this one.

Day 8 - Start to Finish

I have a home full of Tom Clark Gnomes. They each have their place somewhere in my home. Whether it be on a curio shelf, on bedroom nightstand, or a bathroom tucked amidst a green plant...they make me smile. Each with a name, a number and their own little coin or acorn. I have a 'red headed stepdaughter', of sorts, that thinks it is disturbing...but really it isn't as bad as it used to be. Some have been boxed up for a few years...for whatever reason. Many are retired. I stopped purchasing them when they started changing the color themes on them to something that just didn't seem to be quite so 'woodsy'. The ones that are boxed, I think about selling...but every time I go through the box, they capture my heart and woodsy wandering feeling...and I just can't do it quite yet.

This one sits in my bathroom surrounded by an ivy...with her rubber ducky...greeting me every morning.

This set up was pretty much 'on the spot' with the bright afternoon light coming through the window glass and diffused by the shower curtain. Vintage gradient in the diamond mode, grundgedup texture and slight framing. Maybe a bit too much?

Creative.