Trust the process?
"trust yourself in all you do. Be true to YOU..... allowing both love and hurt, bruises and bumps and blessings.........to be a possibility. Being true to YOU is the only way to go.
Sometimes in order to find our gifts, life's treasures...we have to step up and out..... move into the fear.... We have to risk feeling uncomfortable, vulnerable....scared even..... and when we bravely move toward that... and push through...bountiful gifts await.
from Julia Cameron's The Artist Way.
'When we trust ourselves, we become both more humble and more daring. When we trust ourselves we move surely. There is no unnecessary strain in our grasp as we reach out to meet life. There is no snatching at people and events trying to force them to give us what we think we want. We become what we are meant to be. It is that simple. We become what we are, and we do it by being who we are, not who we strive to be.'"
The words above as shared by Kim and Julia Cameron are words and processes defined that I struggle with quite often. So often, I've given up who I am in order to make someone else happy. After 55 years of doing so, I find it is still a hard habit to break. This is why I work the hours I do...to keep my company happy. This is why I gave up going to school in my late twenties and my fab job of challenges and travels...and at times....why I have given up parts of my family (thankfully for only a short period).
'Trust yourself in all you do....'
Ah...what a struggle that brings. Only just this morning with my Artist Way project, I told myself that I find myself asking myself if I am really committed to this creative passion I have. I find sometimes the littlest excuses for not going through with what I really want to do. Work gets in the way. But...I don't see him during the week as we work two different shifts so I need to spend every moment around him on weekends. Giving up the two days during the week that I have some creative energy to grow on. I ask him to join me but, not being a photographer, I feel guilty spending the time trying to capture the shot I want as I feel I am holding him back. In reality, I am probably holding us both back.
I don't have confidence in myself.
I don't trust the process on a regular basis.
I love my passions of photography and nature and travel.
I hate my job. It's monotonous, boring, unchallenging, exhausting.
I am, quite often, afraid to get out 'of the box'. Afraid of what others will say and feel.
I'm tired of giving 'me' up in order to make everyone else happy.
I know who I truly am...who I am supposed to be. There have been short spurts in my life when I was allowed to be that. I can feel 'me'. I can see 'me'. Behind that protective wall. I only need...Me to pull Me out.
A very favorite song of mine....Break Away by Kelly Clarkson