"When words become unclear, I shall focus with photographs. When images become inadequate, I shall be content with silence. " .... Ansel Adams
Saturday, September 29, 2012
I'm home alone this weekend. (Hunting season gives me 'me time'.) Maybe I should use it in some more responsible way. But I didn't.
Well..I dusted and picked up.
I did the morning dishes.
I played with the dog.
I trimmed some trees back and rearranged a garden area.
I did wash.
It's the weekend.
I had a photo shoot scheduled in which I had hoped to use the first two tires I worked on. The red and blue. But then I knew where there was a third tire. When I went to get it, low and behold, there were two half tires chanting very clearly....take me, take me. I want to be 'pretty' too. I'm also up for a good challenge of making someone (or something) feel better about themselves. So off we went. Stopped at the local ace for some additional 'color' and discovered I didn't have the palette today for my normal earth tones...greens and...greens. I needed something to brighten up 'my space' even if they were to be used mainly for photography props.
and, yes, of course, burgundy red.
But wait, my green garden bench needed to be redone.
My garden wagon has haunted me since I received it with a gray that was just 'too gray' for me. I splotched it with white over the gray and added a bit of red to make it feel unique..and it smiled.
Since I had white...well that little children's table that had been sitting in my basement for months needed to be repainted as I wanted to cover up the stick on fruit emblem on the top. I wanted (thanks to Kim Klassen) a white table...even if it is a bit on the wee side. I believe it will do what I need it to do.
Needless to say, of course I didn't plan the purchase quite right and had to go back a second time for a couple of the colors..and the same checkout girl, of course, commented on my quick return. Nicely.
The project took me about five hours...in between the other things I did while waiting for coats of color to dry.
I needed to do some computer time as I am behind on my classes and hoped to browse for some fresh ideas for my photo shoot...which would have been a waste of time anyhow as my portrait sessions normally end up being different than I expect...depending on who the subject is.
Bills didn't get paid.
Clothes are still hanging on the line. Yes, I guess I should atleast remove them so the night critters don't decide to play dress up tonight.
Tomorrow I have a photo trip...in hopes of finding that one inspiring shot. Fall color. Hills. West Wisconsin. Friends to chat with.
Hopefully I will return early enough to fit in a bit more responsibility...before he returns. Before the Monday dreads.
Can't wait to actually use my new 'toys' in a photo shoot to share with you.
Won't you share a home made prop with us? Or just some unplanned creativity on a day that 'responsibility' just didn't show up!!
(PS...as I cleaned up from this project, I found a garden foot stool that I rummage from 'the abandoned house' which was nasty worn out green...and recovered it with Cherry Red. Unfortunately I didn't have time to snap a pic before my session subjects showed up.
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
How the bright dancing colors of the leaves tempt Mother Nature's creativity, feeding mine throughout the day.
Cool crisp air breezily flirting and rustling through the branches.
The fragrance. The sound underneath the step, step step.
Colorful wardrobes changing day in and day out.
Grasping the last breath of fresh air before...
Winter. Nearing. Just around the corner.
Get out and feed your color palette with what Mother Nature is offering up and share your awesome fall photos for all to enjoy!!!
By far, my most favorite season.
Posted by Trisha at 7:59 PM
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
We had many things in common....the love of sunflowers, gardening, convertible Mustangs, the sun, the moon, horses, football. She had a free spirit that somedays I really longed for. She always seemed to be so happy go lucky. She had an ease around people that I always struggled with and still do to a certain extent (although age definitely makes one a bit more vocal than younger days). She made friends easier. I had to be the responsible one. I hated that. Still do....at times....but someone had to do it.
I miss her tremendously many days. I miss our heart to heart chats. I miss her laugh. Riding horses together. Camping together. Discovering the White Pelicans together. Sitting on her Florida patio. Chatting in my Houston backyard. Laughing together on the phone regardless of the miles between us.
We cried together. We fought...after all if we hadn't, we wouldn't have been sisters.
We went through life, at times, rescuing each other from those curve balls life tended to throw at us. Yet, life always got the best of us and just about the time we would start to become really close, miles came between us. Life had other plans for us.
I could really use her advice now.
I wish she could hug me. I wish her children could hug her. I know she would be oh so proud of them. I know she IS so proud of them.
I'm guessing today that the Dear Lord wishes He had left her here with us much longer as I am sure she is painting the heavens red in celebration of her life. I can see it now. I can see her now.
We love you, Loretta Mary. We miss you tremendously.
Someday. Someday we will chat again.
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
It also reminded me of these words that always make me want to do the craziest things to insure I have lived life to its fullest, because we never know when that chance might be gone.
Now...it's time to ponder up that 'take away my breath moments' bucket list although I believe that some of those moments just can not be planned.
How have you planned to insure you have experienced the ultimate 'take my breath away' moment?
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
I went to a funeral yesterday. I don't know if that is what has me off kilter today or not. I woke up and cried for twenty minutes this morning because 'I hate my job and I don't want to go'. I came home grumpy tonight and my Lexi is tiptoeing around me. Standing. Staring. At this crazy lady that cries. Not knowing how to answer the questions of, 'What have I done wrong? How can I make things right? Why am I so lost?' It must be all the little things I have done wrong piled up between a couple larger things I haven't done right?
We buried and now live only with memories of Judy, the lady that lived with my dad for many years before he passed away. She 'took care of him' during his last several years of life as he died slowly, motionlessly, having to be hand fed and cleaned like a baby from a rare form of dementia...so we were told.
Some would say she was a step mom. They were not married. To me...she was not a 'mom' but she was a 'step' between my dad and I. A step separating us and at times a step connecting us.
I lived in Houston. They in Milwaukee. My dad and separated when him and mom got divorced after 29 years of marriage. I was 16 going on 17. We, Dad and I, had our differences during those teen years of mine. Differences that are not met on a normal basis between a father and daughter. Differences that have affected who I am for some 45 years later. It took me almost 35 to 40 years to realize how they affected me. (I never said I was observant.)
Judy is the mother of my brother's wife and the grandmother to my nieces.
Although I appreciated, at the time, very much all she did for my dad, there were many days I questioned what the reason was behind it. Days when I travelled thousands of miles to come see him that she locked me out and wouldn't let me in that had me questioning it even more. I believe he loved her. I believed that somewhere in there she loved him. I believe that sometimes greed gets in the way. I also believe in karma.
I 'loved' Judy many days for what she did for my dad. I 'loved' Judy for making my dad happy while he was healthy enough to be aware of it. It is easy to love. It isn't always easy to like.
Yes, there is some bitterness. Yet there is sorrow. I feel for my sister-in-law and my nieces as well as the rest of her family. I am sure she is a great loss to them. I went to the funeral out of respect for my family. It was a nice funeral, as funerals go. They always make me think. Ponder. Wonder. What will life bring around the next corner. Will I be alive to bury my mom..or will my mom be alive to bury me. I cried at the funeral...mostly because of those thoughts and a lot for the loss and sorrow that I know everyone was feeling. I have lost my dad, my stepdad and my sister...all within a couple years of each other. I miss them tremendously....especially my sis. Especially. My. Sister.
I hate that it takes a funeral to make you realize how very very important family is...when one has lost sight of that.
She rests in peace now. More than likely by my dad's side, walking in heaven, because I believe we all go to heaven...sooner or later. I love you daddy. I miss you. I miss what we didn't have. I miss what we did have.
Posted by Trisha at 5:59 PM
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Ah, the travel bug.
My dad was in the air force. We moved every two to three years. Some would say that that might make one find a place to be rooted to and not go anywhere any more. Maybe this influenced my desire...or tendencies to move every few years even now as an adult. I believe it did give me that great desire to discover new places. Is it the reason I tend to not stay in the same home place for extremely long periods of time? I don't know. Maybe. I think that also though is partly because I haven't found my 'I want to be here for the rest of my life' place yet. I did realize not long ago that I gave up my dream home, per se, about ten years ago. Unfortunately, it wasn't in the dream spot with the dream companion. I am, at the age of fifty plus, still searching for that.
The above is a Moose. Yes. Really and truly it is. Accompany it with this
This year I decided it was about time to start checking off some of my travel bucket list items. Yellowstone was one of them and just seemed to be the first and easiest step to take because I told myself I could do it with or without a companion. I'm glad I had company...and days I wish I had been alone only because my companion is not a photographer...but he is a wonderful chauffeur...to say the least. Although sometimes, he doesn't understand the need to stop and take pictures. Go figure.
The trip was only a week long. Way not long enough. We crammed too much in that span of time but it was a great exploratory trip and I have kept mental notes as to where I would explore more next time.
When I look at these pictures from this trip which you can find here, I long to be there again. A photographer friend is going again in a couple of weeks in time for the fall rut and colors and I so wish I could ditch this nine to five responsibility and join him...but the bank seems to think I need to make a house payment monthly. What the heck!! Besides, my Lexi would definitely attempt to find a new home if I left her behind again. (I will have to confront that next year...actually...later this year.)
I love road trips. And I appreciate a great plane flight although I'm not sure I can always rate those up there as conveniences but that is another whole entire story in itself.
I've travelled to Europe several times. France. Germany. Austria. Belgium. I've lived in seven states, travelled through many more to and from each and even lived in Okinawa for a couple of years. I don't think I can say anything 'bad' about any of them. They all have given me memories...good and bad and in between. They have all made me 'who I am'.
I have so much more to see in what might be too short of a time to see it all, so a priority list is always a good thing. This year I will take a road trip from Wisconsin to New Jersey at Thanksgiving in hopes that the weather will be in my favor and a plane trip to see my grandchildren at Christmas. yahooooo! Next year, Wisconsin to California and back in 2 weeks...different routes I hope. North Carolina for weddings and Ohio for receptions. And again...possibly a home move.
My bucket list:
The New Mexico Balloon Festival
California up the coastland
The San Diego Zoo - YES
Africa and Australia
The West Coast states of Washington and Oregon
A fall trip to the north east of Massachusetts and Upstate New York
Canada and Iceland
That is the short list. I need to find a job that pays me while I am travelling from state to state. And a line of hotels from here to there that will allow Lexi to join me. And a companion to humor me. (smiling)
Posted by Trisha at 7:03 PM