I do believe in God. I do. I pray to him quite often..and get mad at Him too. I am only human. I sin. Yes...sure I do from time to time...only venial sins...so I think. I mean...I haven't killed anyone. That should provide me some kind of points shouldn't it?
Anyhow...I've had my ups and downs with the Catholic Church I guess. I have attended a Lutheran church a couple times with a guy I dated for a while. I think my most pleasant accepting experience with attending church is when I went to a non denominational Bible Church. I really got a whole lot out of that experience. During my last marriage, I was married to a guy that was raised strictly Catholic and as hard as I tried when I had children, it was like pulling teeth to get him to go and therefore, the boys didn't feel it wasn't important since their dad was so negative to it.
When I moved up here...well...I haven't gotten back in to it except my own little at home prayings and beliefs and constant discussions that I have with Him...God...as well as St Joseph and St Anthony. I know they hear me for the most part.
So...I think what has kept me away from the Catholic Church is the entire idea of confession and I think now not only do you confess to a priest but I believe it is actually face to face now. I just can't grasp the concept. Oh, I've been to confession several times throughout my life for venial things and I always feel good when I am done. It is like a weight has been lifted but face to face? Really.
My entire pushing back refusal on the confession thing is...well..I pray to God and ask Him for forgiveness every time I feel I have done something wrong. I believe He hears me and I believe I am forgiven and I don't believe I have to go through a third party to pray to Him or to ask for His forgiveness. Right or wrong, that is what I believe.
I mean Lutherans don't go to confession and I don't believe many of the other religions do either. Again. I pray. I ask for forgiveness...when I feel I have done something that needs to be forgiven and sometimes even when I am not sure.
So...I've started actually watching some of the Sunday morning shows that are on and there are a couple good educational ones that I feel I get a lot out of. They lift my spirits and give me something to think about. I do think that maybe I will find a non denominational one again that I might enjoy going to.
Meanwhile, I do feel I get some spiritual feelings of goodness if I try to follow the Lenten Season and have actually signed myself for giving up things over the next six weeks. Nothing major because I think I really am a pretty good Christian and although I don't go into a church...again...I believe I am always in His church of the world around me.
So ...for this Lenten season, I am giving up two of my comfort food/drink addictions....
Don't laugh...but it is simply
Coffee and creamer and triskets and cheese. Yes...that simple. Plus I am doing all I can to keep the tv off most of the time in order to get myself back up to speed with my photography passion and get some much needed reading and projects completed. So I tape the shows I really like to watch so I can just sit and watch on a weekend and fast forward through everything and thus have dedicate all the rest of my time to things not in front of the tv.
I'm going okay with out the coffee and creamer considering on weekends I can go through a pot of coffee...an entire twelve cups worth all by myself. I'm drinking hot green tea instead. So far I am okay also with giving up my meal of triskets and cheese. Oh I eat a little bit of cheese on a salad or something but what I was giving up is the nights I can sit on the couch in front of the tv and literally eat sliced swiss cheese on triskets until half the box is gone...or more. I'm guessing...I might drop a couple pounds.
Wish i could say I'll be cured of both habits when this is over..but I honestly don't know that I will. We will see just how strong I am.
And with those words, I wish you the very best in your Lenten abstinences.
I'll see you at the other end.
I'd love for you to share the traditions of your Easter season.
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