The past few days of Beyond Layers with Kim have been focused even more so on 'us' ourselves. I often wonder...is it just a woman thing...that we always take care of everyone else first. That we lower ourselves to believe that we don't measure up to what we should be..who we should be. Constantly giving up our dreams for those we love...always regretting the decisions we make worried that we have been too selfish...wondering day after day if those we love will ever forgive us and love us as we need them to. Wondering if we should ask for forgiveness or hoping it will just all be forgotten some day. Each and every one of those decisions building on each other and making the next one even harder to make.
Yes, I've made a few of those. Yes, I still wonder about them and worry...that the ones I really care about still don't forgive me that one decision. Days go by and things happen..that make it feel that maybe it is all okay...and then I wake up on 'the wrong side of the bed' and the circle starts all over again.
I have a major decision that is at the forefront right now...and all those previous decisions are definitely making this a tough one...and at the same time...urging me to make it...telling me not to give up what my heart needs right now in an attempt to insure that someone else is okay...that yet another person in my life that means a lot to me...goes by the wayside.
I want to know....I want to feel...I want to be 'me' and not keep it tucked inside for someone else's reasonings.
I need the 'old' me back again.
(pic taken a month or so ago, added the I Am texture at overlay and brushed away from my face with a wonderful inspirational brush from KK)