We begin 2014.
I wonder if it isn't Christmas Eve as it seems 'not a creature stirs' as they slumber from a late night, early morning celebratory turning of the leaf. Celebrating the end of one year? Anticipating and inviting in the New Year.
My mantra...motto...for this year....2014 in for a wild ride.
It is a new year. It will bring new, exciting and scary things.
Things have to change. Comfort is comfortable..but when that comfort is also disappointing, restrictive, controlling, debilitating and claustrophobic, uncreative and prison like....then the comfort doesn't feel good any more.
Things. Have. To. CHANGE.
When I think about what it is that needs to change, my stomach turns. My heart cries. My eyes...slightly..tear up.
When I look past those uncomfortable feelings and look at what it all means...for the most part it is exciting in a scary way.
Yet....I cringe because I know it means I need to be brave. I need to make it happen. I can't blame any one or anything else except myself.
I have to be that determined Taurus Bull that I am.
I have to take control now and quit letting everything and every one else in my life control me...well..except my companion, Lexi..my Golden. She controls me in a 'responsible way'...most of the time.
I have accepted...lived with this situation for almost six years now and it hasn't been 'good' for me. For Me. The ME that I know I am.
Yes, I have a few:
Enjoy more my passion for photography, writing, nature, bird watching and travel
|Sell or refinance my house|
|Regular work out schedule|
|Cook more for myself - healthy|
I have things to learn this year. Brave things. Silly things. Fun things. New job things.
Adventurous and responsible...survival things.
Butterflies are plenty when I think about them. It has all been keeping me from sleeping well lately in anticipation and fear.
I need to find my 'support' base. My peeps that will keep me on track.
Simple abundance, Artists Way and Gratitude...will all be a part of that support.
Mom...yes mom. She is always there for me if even in a quiet sort of way..but providing encouraging, don't give up feedback when I least expect it and mostly need it.
I have a tendency to run away from things. To ignore..not wanting to confront. I keep it all closed up inside until I burst and at that point...I don't want to talk to any one about it. I won't listen to reason because their reasoning is not what I want to hear. I've made up my mind. Done. That's it.
Only once has that been something I've regretted in the end...and that was moving too far away from my children...letting my ex get the best of me.
One of Lily's life lectures said...don't run away from everything that has been good in your life in order to run from one thing....but instead...learn to leave behind...say goodbye...to the bad things.
So...2014...the Year to rediscover. Get back to the good that I am.
I know it will be a wild ride..roller coaster like, I'm guessing. Yet I know that every up and down, every wild turn, every bump in the road is going to be worth...the end AWESOME RESULT!
Like a Bull in a China store...I will succeed.
May your 2014 be filled with exciting enchantment and inspiration!!