Our journal prompt for this week has to do about looking back on the past 12 months.
I made some positive steps forward in the past year...some that took a long time for me to do. They say that sometimes the negative in your life that you keep avoiding might actually create more negativity and keep you from moving forward. Why is it that we know that and yet still ignore it...procrastinate...be fearful about making the change not knowing what is on the other side of that door.
My first big move forward step of the past year was finally getting out of a very stressful, self esteem buster of a job that required sixty and seventy hour work weeks, cancelled vacations and no appreciation for what I did...other than piling more stuff on. Lack of acknowledgment, low levels of trust, being treated almost as a child in a position that had the responsibilities of many hats.
I stressed and communicated at just the right time to just the right person and just like that...I had a new job that pays me almost as much as what I made previously working for an entire workforce of so much nicer people. I lost two weeks of vacation that I am having to learn to deal with but it is well worth it...for now. Oh, it is still stressful but I'm guessing it is that way everywhere as corporations continue to try to fun a profitable business with skeleton crews. The work is constant, non stop but I actually have an opportunity to talk to others and not just talk into a computer monitor. The days go by fast. Sometimes too fast.
I ended a five year long relationship with someone that couldn't seem to break his umbilical connection with his thirty some year old kids enough to make a full commitment with me. I didn't necessarily want marriage and a ring...well a ring would have been nice just to show some commitment....I just wanted to get down to one house so we could really enjoy our time together which was limited to weekends due to the two different work schedules...So...I asked him to move back to his place and maybe we should just 'date'. He moved out, said he loved me and I was the sexiest thing he'd ever dated..and never even fought to keep me. PS...men..some of us don't think the words, you're the sexiest thing I've ever dated means that you love us. I stressed over whether I made the right decision. Today...mom said she could tell I was much happier.
Now I have all this time for myself and I haven't really taken advantage of it. It's only been a couple weeks though. And winter to boot...Things will be more productive soon.
I was able to afford to buy myself a nice full frame camera and shortly afterwards, my external drive crapped out on me...but now I'll have fun starting all over again. Luckily most was backed up already.
I attended a couple craft fairs to sell some of my photo art. Didn't profit much but at least broke even and learned a lot. Mostly that I need some other venue than a craft fair...so carry on to 2014 summer and find some 'art fairs' to show my work instead.
I entered a photographic contest and got some honorable mentions and a second place....woo hoo.
I spent a bit of time struggling with what to do about selling my house..took it off the market for the winter and have again listed it. Hoping for all my readers to pray deeply and positively for a quick and speedy sale this year so I can start the next chapter of my life.
I can't say it was an extremely exciting year or extremely productive outside of my gardening and canning extremes. Fortunately I can't say it was the worst year ever either.
My portrait photography grew a bit and I actually have a couple weddings planned this year. They are probably going to be the last weddings I do unless I have a good feeling for them when it is all said and done. I much prefer the one on one stuff and my nature photography.
I've started a more regular schedule of activity and working out and even am trying to get back into reading again which I have missed so much over the past five years.
I've also started blogging and writing more which I truly love and hope to do so much more with.
I think if I have one regret (per se) it's that I took a job here and didn't bite the bullet and find one down closer to my children and grandchildren so I could see them more often. Now...I will probably wait out the few years I have until I can possibly retire and get closer to them then in hopes that I will still have years to enjoy them.
So...may the doors I closed this year...open up some new and exciting ones that bring me closer yet to my dreams.